Paraman Tot’s journey from conflict to confidence

South Sudan–born Paraman Tot has led a remarkable life so far, from surviving a civil war and spending her earliest years in Kakuma refugee camp, to becoming a nurse, homeowner, mother, and now a national finalist in Miss Universe Australia. She sat down with us to reflect on resilience, opportunity, and what she hopes every refugee - and Australian - will come to believe: that refugee voices matter.

Can you tell us about your early childhood?

I was born in a small village in South Sudan during the civil war. Life was chaotic from the start. My family had to flee because it simply wasn’t safe to stay. I've heard stories from my mum about having to walk for miles at night, of her putting me on her shoulders, my uncles carrying bags with what little clothes we had. 

We moved to Kakuma refugee camp in Kenya when I was about four, after my father passed away. My mum suddenly became a single parent caring for all of us, as well as extended family members.

I don’t remember every detail, but I remember the heat, the red dirt, and living together in a tiny tent, just trying to get through each day.

“We relied on support from UNHCR for food and shelter… their help was life-changing.”

What support did your family receive in Kakuma?

The food we ate – grains, beans, rice – all came from UNHCR. Without that support, we would have gone hungry. Even something like porridge with sugar was a treat. We also went to a school in the camp, and I can remember trying to learn to read and write.

What do you remember about arriving in Australia?

We arrived when I was seven, not speaking a word of English. The culture shock was huge – even the food was strange to us. I remember being given a meal of tomato soup and a cheese toastie and I had no idea what it was! 

I’ll never forget our first New Year’s Eve. We were alone at home and when the fireworks started, we hid under the bed because we thought they were gunshots.

But soon we noticed things we’d never had before: a fridge full of food, electricity, a safe place to sleep, and the chance to go to school. Coming here was the best thing that ever happened to us.

You became a homeowner at a young age – what inspired that?

I wanted to give my mum something she never had: stability. She worked three jobs when we first came to Australia, just to give us a better life. We moved around a lot because of rental costs and I wanted that to change. 

So I started working at 15 and saved every dollar. At 18, I marched into the bank and said, “I want to buy a house”. They thought I was joking! But I kept saving, kept going back – and eventually I built a home big enough for my whole family. It’s our gathering place now, where we can all celebrate events like Christmas. It's the best thing ever.

What achievements are you most proud of?

Buying my house is definitely one. But motherhood is the biggest. My son, Forrest, has brought so much joy to my life.

And I’m proud of my nursing career. I've always loved helping people. There were a lot of people in my life that helped me, and I wanted to give back. And I think nursing is one of those jobs where you help people in their most vulnerable state. So, it was natural for me to go into that field.

How do you feel UNHCR’s support shaped your life?

I genuinely believe UNHCR is the reason I’m here today. They gave us safety, food, education – the basic rights every child deserves. Without that foundation, I wouldn’t be living the Australian dream now.

You were a national finalist for Miss Universe Australia. What does that mean to you?

I was the first mum to reach the national stage, which makes me incredibly proud. I did this to celebrate who I am: a refugee, a woman of colour and a mother. I want other women – especially refugees – to see what’s possible.

I’m now busy filming and hosting my own cooking show, A Seat at the Table, where women from all backgrounds come together to share stories and food. For so long, I felt like my voice didn’t matter. Now I want to help others use theirs.

What would you like people to understand about refugees?

Refugees are just people who want safety, opportunity, and the chance to work hard and contribute. We’re resilient, determined and ready to build a future if we’re given a fair chance.

I look at my son, who is half Sudanese, half Australian, and I see the beauty of both worlds coming together. That’s what I hope for all of us: to see the humanity in each other.

UNHCR helped Paraman’s family find safety. You can help others do the same.

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